Do I have game? You Damn Well Bet I Do!

Do I have game?  You Damn Well Bet I Do!


By Edward  J.  "Teddy" Stanton Jr.

Although an old timer myself,  I have always fancied myself an alpha wolf on the prowl who can still put the most virile of cubs in their place.  A recent email pointing out blogger Roissy's "Sixteen Commandments of Poon" confirms this:

I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first

II. Make her jealous

III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

IV. Don’t play by her rules

V. Adhere to the golden ratio

VI. Keep her guessing

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

IX. Connect with her emotions

X. Ignore her beauty

XI.  Be irrationally self-confident

XII.  Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses

XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

XIV. Fuck her good

XV. Maintain your state control

XVI.  Never be afraid to lose her

Heck, I've been intuitively following the above before the word 'game' was even in fashion.  Perhaps that's why I'm 51, have a wife (45) with seven legitimate children, and two girlfriends (ages 23 and 27).

Three Worthwhile Happy Hours

Three Worthwhile Happy Hours

By Edward  J.  "Teddy" Stanton Jr.

If looking to save a buck in these impoverished times, economize by visiting one of these three happy hours:

The Fou Frog happy hour (Tues. - Fri., 4:30 - 6:30) features discounted mussels, a meat and cheese plate, oysters, and a goat-cheese salad, among other things.  The inviting atmosphere created by the proprietors  makes for idle conversation and pleasant unwinding.   (Apparently Fou Frog will now offer lunch on Thursdays as well.)

The recently reopened downtown Parkville Piropos Grille (Tue. - Fri., 5 - 7, and Thur. all night) features discounted drinks, cocktail shrimp and tamales.  Eat, drink and enjoy the view overlooking historic Parkville. 

Webster House (Wed. - Sat., 4:30 - 6) features  $3 items on its happy hour menu, such as olives and truffle french fries, and includes many $7 cocktails like a Kir Royale, Gimlet or Old Fashioned.  Webster House may well have the most beautiful decor of any KC restaurant, including stately furniture and an august ambiance.  If you've never been, use this happy hour as an excuse to visit. 

The Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts is Ugly

The Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts is Hideous

By J. Randolph Swope

The ancients believed beauty resulted from balance, subtlety and proportion.  Examples of this are the Parthenon and Pantheon.  Later Europeans continued this tradition with the Gothic architecture and neoclassicism that still cover Europe.  Fast forward hundreds of years over subsequent architectural movements, and one witnesses a radical change, a celebration of functionality. Finally, enter postmodernist architecture, a subversion of the high for the low.   The impetus for this revolution in style (the subversion of the high for the low) can be traced back to a religious distrust of man-made beauty in Middle Eastern mysticism (inter alias causas), which has a long tradition of antagonism toward occidental high-brow standards (as noted Nietzsche).  Nowhere is this war against beauty more manifest than the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts, a 285,000 square-foot monstrosity currently being erected in downtown Kansas City.   And to add insult to injury, instead of contracting  local firms (Kansas City is known for its engineering and architectural firms), an Israeli firm (Safdie Architects) heads the design team.

Any chance we could start a petition to demolish this eyesore?  We already have sufficient (and aesthetically pleasing) concert halls to host events.

2010 Kansas City Restaurant Rankings

2010 Restaurant Rankings of Greater Kansas City Area

 By KC Food Critic

(5 stars - 1 star.  It is difficult to make star list, so even a 1-star ranking is prestigious.

Only 5-star and 4-star restaurants are updated annually, so other listings may not be up to date.

Based on criteria of Michelin Restaurant Guide ranking, Mobil Traveler's Guide,  Forbes and Zagat.  Includes Kansas City proper and surrounding areas (Overland Park, KS, etc.).

Greater Kansas City Area

5-Star Restaurants

(none)

4-Star Restaurants

American Restaurant

3-Star Restaurants

Aixois

Bluestem

Café Des Amis (Parkville)

Café Provence (Prairie Village)

Fou Frog

JJ's

Julian

Michael Smith’s

Plaza III Steakhouse

Starker's Reserve

Tatsu's (Prairie Village)

Webster House

2-Star Restaurants

Avenues Bistro

Benton’s Steakhouse
Bristol - Downtown

Cafe Trio

Capital Grille

Carmen’s

Classic Cup Cafe

EBT

Garozzo's Ristorante

Grand Street Café

Grunauer

Hotel Phillips’ 12 Baltimore

Hyatt-Regency’s Peppercorn Duck Club

Il Centro

Jasper's

Hereford House

InterContinental’s Oak Room

Lidia's Kansas City

Marina Grog & Galley (Lees Summit)

Morton’s Steakhouse

Pot Pie

Pierpont's

Piropos (Parkville)

Raphael Hotel’s Chaz on the Plaza

Room 39

Ruth's Chris Steakhouse

Savoy Grill

Skies

1-Star Restaurants

Andre’s Tearoom

Cafe at Briarcliff

Cafe Sebastienne
Cascone's Italian Restaurant

Cafe Cedar

Cupini’s

Extra Virgin

The Farmhouse

Figlio’s

Fiorella's Jack Stack Barbecue

Golden Ox

Hardware Cafe (Liberty)

Hotel President’s Drum Room

J. Gilbert's Wood Fired Steaks (Overland Park)

Jardine’s
Jess & Jim's Steak House

Lill’s on 17th

McCormick & Schmick's

Mike & Charlie’s

O'Dowd's Little Dublin

Paulo & Bill Restaurant (Shawnee)

Phoenix Piano Bar & Grill

R Bar

Raoul's Velvet Room (Overland Park)

Rheinland (Independence)

Ricco’s (Overland Park)

Salvatore's (Independence)

Stephenson's Apple Farm [closed?]

Stroud’s

Tasso’s

V's Italiano (Independence)

Yia Yia's Eurobistro (Overland Park)

Surrounding Cities

Excelsior Springs

1-Star Restaurants

Elms

Ventana Gourmet Grill

Platte City

1-Star Restaurants

Shields Manor Bistro

St. Joseph

1-Star Restaurants

36th Street Food & Drink Company            [Closed?]

Smithville

3-Star Restaurants

Justus Drugstore

Weston

2-Star Restaurants

Avalon Cafe
Charlemagne's

Vineyards

1-Star Restaurants

America Bowman

KC Food Critic has a graduate degree from a top-tier university and has lived and worked in Europe numerous years.  Send comments and suggestions to: occfoodcritic[at]gmail.com